Things I'll never say

Sometimes when you are sad, I wish my love for you could do something.

and here we are… exactly a week after you left, I’ve came to the conclusion that it’s still fresh and that’s why it hurts so much.

Of course you love someone else and it’s just the worst feeling in the world to see you demonstrate all your love to him.

But there is something I can’t take of my mind: you were not like that, I mean, you didn’t say “i love you” to him every fucking day, so that’s why I feel like you’re trying to make a point here and if I’m right (which I’m not, I’m just normally paranoid) you’re a coward and I shouldn’t like you, but I do and there is no fucking thing I can do about it.

except for accept and live with it til I no longe feel like this.

Sometimes I wonder if all the things you say it’s just because you’re trying to push me away, cause you don’t want me to fall in love with you.

“and in the end, the pain you take is equal to the love you make”

I’ve been in love (for real) a couple of times in my life and I feel like there’s no such thing as love without pain. I never got the chance to love someone who could really love me back or that I could be with. I don’t know if I’m just stupid or love makes everyone suffer.

I know what it’s like to love someone you can’t have. Someone living miles away from you. Someone that you would have to give up everything to be with. But that’s not the bad part, because you would do it without second thoughts. The bad part is that there is no love in return. He can’t love you. He won’t love you. He loves someone else. And you’re supposed to deal with it and move on with your life like there’s nothing wrong in the world.

Most of the time I feel like I’m that child that didn’t get the latest cool toy or something, you know? That feeling when you see everyone having fun and trying new things and you’re just stucked in the same place and nothing or no one seems able to take you out of there. I just can’t take this shit anymore.

I want to love someone I can have. Someone I can take care. Someone who’s flawless in my eyes. Finding someone like this is not the hardest part (I’ve done it already). I just want to figure out how to find someone who will love me back, because despite all the bad things love provides, when someone loves you back all the shit you’ve been through finally worths something.

Everyone loves. The difference is the magnitude of your love. There will come a time when you will love someone so deeply you can’t see yourself without him (her), just the thought of that person will make you smile and life will seem better just because they’re alive. I just hope that when that day comes that persons loves you in return the same way you do, because when they don’t… it hurts like shit.